Blog #2 Social Media

Let's get honest, the last line of my first blog, "For the future of America, for the human race, I will write" is a glorified and noble statement of what I actually have in mind. I don't personally believe that one single person, that person being myself, really will make a difference through writing a blog. I'm calling bs on myself for that statement. That being said, I do still believe that there are things to be shared that can influence and impact those around me or those who read the blog. This last week, I've felt a lot of things that I should write about. I have tried to cut back on social media time in our house, and the amount of time the T.V. is on. It has been really great to focus on play time with Landon, going to the gym, and the structure within our household and I have seen an improvement in my attitude and in Landon's as well. Something so simple has given me a lot of thought on how we are just a consumer friendly society. I was asking myself "are we really so materialistic that our phones are in our hands the majority of the day?" Saturday as a family, we went down to San Fran and stopped at a park down by the pier. One mother in particular just had her phone in her hand the whole time trying to take pictures of her daughter playing. Her daughter was absolutely adorable, but where do we draw the line between trying to capture every single moment, and just simply enjoying the play time sans technology? Ther snapped a couple pictures of the kids, but mostly played on the toys with them, and I kept my phone away, sitting on a bench people watching and enjoying the calm of not trying to get that perfect photo of the kids. We rely so much on the pictures to bring back memories and not just the visions in our head playing back. Does this in turn not utilize some part of our brain that should have regular "exercise?" Articles I have read about "screen time" say the part of our brain that feels pleasure is triggered when something lights up on our phones. We get excited to see who commented on a picture and feel better when someone "likes" a photo or status update. Our phones are meant to get our attention and hold onto it. What are we really missing out on, are we missing out on life? Are we really a society so stuck on the validation from others, that we spend hours a day on social media? Smart phones are a great thing, I love having my email so accessible, checking my bank account...super easy! Maybe a month ago, the church we attend did a series called "Death to Selfie." It really focused on how we put our wants and desires into every picture, selfie, for the world to see. We want people to see and think we are happy, pretty, fun, enjoying life. Constantly putting ourselves out there and it turns into an expectation, especially in relationships, and then it ruins the relationship because it becomes a debt to debtor arrangement and not an intimate closeness. Every single picture we post has a message behind it, and we want people to accept it. I just don't get it, but I am sure I am the exact same in my subconscious. Why does it even matter? How did people fifty years ago live without the constant assurance through social media that we are liked and accepted. Did people just not care? Did people seek the same level of validation in person to person conversation or relationships? Does the change in parenting structure and style over the last 20-30 years have anything to do with it? Is everyone that subconsciously insecure? Is daily life so boring that we need to know what is going on in the rest of the world? It doesn't really make a lot of sense to me. Sometimes I just wish I didn't have to have my phone on me at all times. (I actually do not need to have it on me at all times, but it feels like the end of the world is going to come down on me if I don't and that someone will try to get a hold of me and freak out). I actually told Ther I think I don't want a smart phone anymore, but that it didn't really make a difference because I feel confident that I can put my phone away and down for most of that day. I honestly don't think any of it matters. It's not like people are going to put their phones away as we progress to later years, and we can't go back to 1950 and have the same type of quiet, normal, repetitive life they had. I just really felt a need to distance myself from my phone and the kids from the T.V. to be more supportive as a parent, and to strengthen our relationships. Also, I don't want to be so accessible. Not that I don't like  people, but I just want to be free to enjoy the time we have as a family. When I was in Washington over the summer, Landon's dad and I were having a conversation about relationships, and women not finding the amount of joy in just being a stay at home mom. I don't remember exactly what we were saying but something along the lines of it being hard to find a woman who didn't have too much going on with career or travelling or further education. Not that any of those things are bad, but people these days just have to have so much going on. I'm going on 3 whole weeks of not working, and right now, my two favorite places to be are home and the gym. I am so happy just doing home and doing the gym. And it's not that I don't want to travel or have a degree or that I'm not intelligent enough to want those major successes and dreams, but time goes so fast, and there is never enough of it. Simple is good for me, and simple means less social media because all I really care about 100% is my family and going to the gym.

Comments welcome, I know this stuff is pretty boring, but eventually I want to get into some more interesting topics. I do believe my next blog will be about sex positive environments for women and my experiences in a queer community...

MEMOIRS/BLOG IDEAS

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT AN EXPERT IN ANYTHING I TALK ABOUT. MY WRITINGS ARE SOLELY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES, OBSERVATIONS AND OPINIONS. I WRITE BECAUSE I BELIEVE I CANNOT BE THE ONLY PERSON IN AMERICA WATCHING AND WITNESSING DAILY LIFE WHO THINKS THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH AMERICAN CULTURE AND THE PATH WHICH WE AS AMERICANS SEEM TO BE TRAVELING DOWN IS COMPLETELY ASININE. NO TOPIC IS AN UNWELCOME SUBJECT, AND OTHERS ARE OPENLY WELCOME TO COMMENT AND BRING FORTH NEW IDEAS. THIS WILL BE A COLLECTION OF MY PERSONAL MEMOIRS, AS WELL AS A BLOGGING SITE, THAT EVENTUALLY I HOPE TO EXPAND UPON TO CREATE SOME SOCIAL CHANGES AMONG PEERS, IF NOT A WIDER AUDIENCE. I DO NOT INTEND TO OFFEND OR DISCRIMINATE IN ANY WAY, AND THIS IS NOT AN OPEN PLACE FOR OFFENSIVE COMMENTARY. (IN THE SOCIAL MEDIA WORLD, THIS SEEMS AN UNREALISTIC IDEA. PLEASE TAKE A SECOND TO USE A BRAIN CELL OR TWO BEFORE TRYING TO START A DEBATE, SOME PEOPLE JUST HAVE DIFFERENT IDEAS, AND IT DOESN’T MAKE SOMEONE WRONG TO THINK DIFFERENTLY).

“WHAT IS RIGHT FOR ME MAY NOT BE RIGHT FOR YOU. WHAT IS WRONG FOR ME MAY NOT BE WRONG FOR YOU. AS LONG AS YOU DO WHAT IS RIGHT AND TRUE IN YOUR HEART, YOU WON’T EVER BRING OFFENSE TO ME.” –I CLAIM THIS QUOTE AS MY OWN, IF ANYONE KNOWS OF DIFFERNET ORIGINS, LET ME KNOW. I HAVE JUST SAID IT FOR A NUMBER OF YEARS, AND DO NOT KNOW WHERE THIS IDEA CAME FROM….PROBABLY SOMETHING I LEARNED FROM MY SON’S DAD.

 ABOUT ME: I am a 23 year old young adult woman. I have one biological son who is three, and a step son who is four. I am from Olympia Washington, and currently live in Santa Rosa California. My sig. other and I have been together for 2 years. We are both in the Army. Some of the things I will post will be very personal stories. Please be mindful and respectful of the fact that I am posting personal information.

Blog One: “American Culture” An introduction

I think everything I will blog about is a sub-category of this main question; what is American culture? Culture is a way of life, the normal practices of a society, ethnic group of people, in a specific region. Scholastically, culture is “the arts and other manifestations of human intellectual achievement regarded collectively.” That’s what popped up on Google. So to break it down, collective human intellectual achievements (what is America accomplishing together as a society? And what are Americans, those of the average, middle class, everyday normal type creating/manifesting as a group of people or within our societies?) The things I want to discuss or express opinions on are all part of the quality of everyday life, not necessarily limited to within a household or family, but to include current events that shape the lives of Americans. I intend to blog separately on each topic of importance or relevance. Some ideas I have on topics are

1.       Social media influences

2.       Parenting responsibilities, structures and influences of over indulgence in modern times

3.       Capitalism

4.       Western medicine

5.       Women’s rights/objectification of women/ women’s sexual identities, sexual rights, birth control

6.       My experiences in a queer community

7.       Race wars in America

8.       Being in the military

9.       Addictions, impacts of addiction in families, “breaking the cycle” of addictions and abuse (specifically emotional and verbal abuse)

10.   Equality

11.   Diet/eating

12.   Political/current issues

13.   Financial responsibility

14.   Dysfunctional characteristics in families/ setting boundaries/respecting boundaries family members set in place/healthy ways to establish boundaries

15.   Respect for authorities/law enforcement/militarization of law enforcement

16.   Being a population of instant gratification seekers

17.   Religion

18.   Things I like (I know that one is boring)

19.   Anger issues/emotional roller-coaster of a life/co-dependency/struggling with my own emotional stability  

Again, I am not an expert in any of these topics, and I don’t aim to be one. I am here to express my personal observations, opinions and experiences with each of these. My sole purpose is to be real and to initiate a type of “wake up call” about what life is like. I am a firm believer in ignorance is bliss, and think that Americans as a whole are too lazy to educate themselves and prefer to live in a selfish mindset. Kind of like “who cares what is really going on or what is happening in the country, as long as I have what I want.” It has been spoken of before, by people more qualified than myself, but the term entitled and lack of work ethic seem appropriate. We just want things. We don’t want to work or plan for them. We just want them, and we want them now. People don’t want to be told to refrain or stay in control or to follow rules. People think they can do whatever they want without any consequences. I read a story on the internet about a year ago in relation to this entitled mentality that is infesting younger generations. A college freshman didn’t study for the first exam in one of their classes, failed the test, and called their mother in the middle of lecture and the mother demanded to talk to the professor about why their child failed the test. I do not remember the specific article or site I was on, but this kind of stuff disgusts me. No accountability or responsibility. And shame on the parents for raising such an over indulged spoiled human being. Why is it acceptable for someone of legal adult age to throw a temper tantrum and call their mommy? I understand that I am one person, and I understand that there is not one way to be a parent. I just think it should be a cause of alarm if this is what the future of America is going to be. “The children are the future.”

For the future of America, and the human race, I will write.